You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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