I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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