six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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