I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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