accomplished twins. life is a go
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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