no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
