His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
