my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
