I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There's a naked man in my car right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
