It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
