Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mouth tastes like poor choices
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize