Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
