Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
