i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
