So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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