you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
