Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
