dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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