Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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