It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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