We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
