I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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