trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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