upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize