The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
