i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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