i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
