no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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