He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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