Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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