He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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