I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize