He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize