Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
