a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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