im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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