after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize