There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
