Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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