I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't think brook has ever known best
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
