Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
