Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
