So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize