You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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