Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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