was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
