He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
