Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
