if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
