last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
