how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
