it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
