I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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