Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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