There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize