How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
