Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
