I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
