miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
