google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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