The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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