Is it because I queefed?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
