So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize