we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
