Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
