JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
