Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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