So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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