i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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