I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
