I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
