I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize