Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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