my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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