u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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