no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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