What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
