Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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