Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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