I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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