I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
