Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
