If that was your dad, he is hot
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
