I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he told me I talked like a deaf person
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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