It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
