Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
