We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
